Sometimes, I just want to give up. It overpowers me, it overwhelms me... sometimes I remember the person I used to be two years ago and I wonder how the hell I ended up tangled in this mess. I used to be what some may call "a normal person". I was happy most of the time, satisfied with most of my life... but I complained, because I was never aware of it until I lost it.

Now, I appreciate the happy moments with all the intensity I can, because they're very rare and last seconds, maybe minutes.

I was never able to figure out how this could happen to a person until it happened to me, and I realize there's such little awareness in this world about anxiety disorders. I just hate to see how people who are perfectionists and like things in order say stuff like "oh lol I'm so OCD". No, you're not. You have no idea what it is like. Fortunately. Shows like The Big Bang Theory don't help much, because they only show the "funny" part of these disorders. Nobody said anything about the horrible thoughts, the deep anxiety and the panic crisis.

I just don't want this to ruin my life, like it's been doing these past two years. I'm getting better, I'm learning. I express myself through art and literature, because some things cannot be explained otherwise.

The reason I'm explaining this here is because this is something that's going on inside me, and it's something I have to fully accept before I can keep moving on. I'll keep expressing myself through my art, and you'll probably won't like what you see. I know I used to submit sweet, funny stuff... and I really love to do it, but this is what I need right now, if I ever get the time to draw. And also I'm saying this because I have many friends in dA who worry about me, and sometimes I disappear without saying a thing... isolation is a way to get the wounds healed, but it doesn't mean I don't think of you guys. And the same about my groups, like Skyline, XME or OYIC.

Well, that's pretty much it... I just hope you understand. I leave you with one of the songs that's helping me to cope all along.